Warning: This blog post contains the use of profanity. If this offends you, I suggest you take your little bottom elsewhere.
How many of you have been spanked with a wooden hairbrush? And I mean really spanked, not just for fun. Well I never had (wood is kind of scary). And I was curious, really curious. So what did I do? Well I went out and bought myself a nice wooden hairbrush and decided to give it a whirl.
As I live in an apartment and can hear my neighbor sneeze I couldn't exactly go about walloping myself with this damn thing (yes I did it myself, sad but true) but I really wanted to know how it would feel as a punishment. So I decided to just give myself one good hard whack before I hopped in the shower this morning.
I got all naked, as I usually do before getting in the shower, took aim, took a deep breathe, and ... nothing. I couldn't do it. My brain said "What the fuck do you think you're doing, dumbass?!" and refused to move my arm. Kinda like when you're waxing your bikini line and you have to count to three, four or five times before you actually manage to pull the damn strip off.
Anyway, my brain and I argued for a bit and eventually agreed that I truly was the one in charge here! So I took aim again, brought my arm up nice and high, brought the brush down hard and Jesus fucking Murphy that thing hurts. I mean really hurts. I jumped away from the brush, and my own arm which was really awkward and none to graceful, and held my breath for a few seconds as the pain actually increased as the seconds passed. Bloody Hell!
I looked in the mirror and there was a very angry red mark on my ass in the shape of a hairbrush, go figure. It was mostly red with a white splotch in the centre (the damn brush isn't completely flat).
After my shower the mark was still there and I could still feel the exact spot where the brush had landed. I wandered about getting ready and doing chores for a couple hours then flopped down on the couch and immediately jumped up! It still bloody hurt! I went back to look in the mirror and the mark was still there, just as dark as ever and I had dinner and a show to go to. Both of these activities require sitting by the way.
Thankfully the sore spot calmed down a bit and the seats at the show weren't to hard but I still spent most of my time sitting on one cheek >:(
It's now late at night, the mark is finally fading, and although I can still feel the spot that was attacked by the evil hairbrush, I can sit in reasonable comfort again, finally.
What's the moral of this story? Curiosity gets your ass burned comes to mind.
Mackenzie
Experiment Gone Wrong? I'm a bit confused. So I'll share what information I gathered by reading your post and then perhaps you can explain what I'm missing. You had never been spanked with a wooden hairbrush, so being curious, you took matters into your own hands by giving yourself a good whack with one. It smarted enough that you reacted in a manner similiar to one you might have had had the brush been in someone else's hand. You experienced the consequences of your actions throughout the day(a reminder of what could possibly happen again.) How is that an experiment that went wrong? Did you mean for it to tickle? ;)
ReplyDeleteOh dear. You really ARE an impulsive sort, aren't you? But I have to agree with Chicklet here (and believe me, no one's more surprised than I to be saying that *g*) -- you pretty much achieved your aim.
ReplyDeleteI don't have your intellectual curiosity, I'm afraid. I have never been spanked really hard with a wooden hairbrush*, but I have no desire to try it to verify whether it hurts as much as I imagine.
The one good thing about your experiment: at least you're reasonably in control of your own body. (Though I sense a rebellious arm there. *g*) Had you been doing it "for real" with another person, you may not have been able to stop after just one whack. *smirk*
*Thank the goddess. But I have been spanked (for real, growing up) with other painful implements. Maybe that's why I don't have your intellectual curiosity. :)
Very interesting. I've never been a fan of the hairbrush, it never occurred to me that it would be quite so...effective?
ReplyDeletehehehe. I have a few times and it does hurt!! Well done Mackenzie for giving yourself at least one effective whack. I am glad I am not the only one with a sore tush tonight :P
ReplyDeleteTo Alyx & Chicklet: >:P~~~~ Just in case you didn't catch that, here it is again :P~~~~~~~
ReplyDeleteMean. It's not like I actually deserved it or anything :)
Poor little Alyx :( I think it would really suck being spanked growing up. It just seems really unfair. Although, being raised by wolves myself, I seem to be in the vast minority among my peers (and everyone older) as I was not regularly spanked growing up so I really can't go and get all judgey about it (I did manage to irritate a babysitter enough to whack me once though. It was entirely deserved, I must say. I'm actually quite impressed with her restraint as she managed to hold out a hell of a lot longer than the average person would have LOL)
To LS: It certainly never occurred to me that it would be quite so effective either!
To HAL: Oh dear, what trouble have you gone and gotten yourself into now, hmmm? *raises eyebrow* :D
An Update: I checked this morning and there is absolutely NO evidence of my experiment last night. I'm quite shocked. I was absolutely certain there would be a bruise but there's NOTHING but pale white ass. I'm a little disappointed actually. Not that I wanted a bruise 'cause I really didn't. But I would have felt far more vindicated with respect to all my whining and sniveling last night had there been one.
Oh sweet lil mackenzie, I never said you deserved it. I was just trying to simply point out that your experiment was a SUCCESS, that it did not go wrong. You wanted to know what it felt like and now you do, well a bit anyway. However, for the nice raspberries I do think you need the WHOLE experience. I have not done nor said anything to disrespect you the way you just disrespected me. :( {I do hope you realize that Geographical Location won't save your backside forever} ;)
ReplyDeletewow it lasted all day.
ReplyDeleteI've always been curious about hairbrushes too, i plan on rethinking my interest. As for being a success, your experiment taught you what to avoid.
p.s. Your background is awesome.
Well I am still not sitting down properly but haven't been given permission to blog about it yet (power crazed Top - really!) I hope I can. It is an 'interesting' story with a painful outcome. :P
ReplyDelete@HAL-Have you even had a night without umm you know a painful outcome since the CC incident? I don't know how you do it. I'm in awe. :)
ReplyDeleteOh dear Chicklet, really?
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean any disrespect. Was just funning you. My apologies.
Cutey, hairbrushes are definitely something worth avoiding. Especially if you're not the one wielding it!
HAL, ooooh I hope you get to share. Maybe you should go ask if you can share your story now. Just go start poking her in the arm "IC can share my story nowwwwww? Pleeeeeeeease"
*nods* yes, i think that would be very effective :)
Mackenzie are you trying to incite some bratting?(and so soon after double raspberries for both Ms.Alyx and myself..hmm) No, the "WHOLE experience" is not for raspberries, but for serious bratting-I'm sure you know the kind--like getting arrested, putting your safety or life in harm's way.(repeated sunburns from lack of sunscreen is a good example) :( APOLOGY accepted :) Please accept my apology for threating the "WHOLE experience" for a infantile infraction.
ReplyDeleteI must admit I am curious as to what HAL got herself into, but something tells me that if she goes about things your way she'll be very sorry and even more sore than she is now. ;)
*LOL* Mackenzie, you are so naughty! But what is funniest is knowing how the universe will be paying you back one day by giving you a top at least as stern as IC. And boy, will I love hearing the stories about THAT! :D
ReplyDeleteYou only whacked yourself ONCE? Geez, I must be a real glutton for punishment..generally if something hurts really badly, I like to whack myself a bit more with it.
ReplyDeleteThen again, talk about glutton for punishment..you WAX your OWN bikini line? I tried that a few times..was no good at it. The problem was I always knew when I was gonna pull it. I do not have the ovaries to rip the strip of cloth off as hard as is necessary.
@Alyx you crack me up. I'd loooove to see Macks with a top like IC. *grin* I'd be willing to stand nearby and hand Mackenzie's top implements as needed. Cuz I'm helpful like that. :)
And hmmm...that's interesting about your lack of curiosity..I was spanked really hard growing up too and that hasn't seemed to inhibit my curiosity ;) Though to be completely honest, there are implements I avoid because of my early experiences with them. Celine
@Celine yes, you are helpful in exactly that way, aren't you? You and Mackenzie are neck and neck (or substitute the body part of your choice) in the brat sweepstakes! *vbg* I would pay a substantial amount of money to see you both over your respective tops' laps, being spanked at exactly the same time. *LOL*
ReplyDeleteI wasn't spanked really hard...I was boringly good. *g* However I would also avoid stuff like wooden or wire hangers because of childhood associations. *nodding* But anyone who waxes anything has a masochistic streak I simply don't have! *shudder* (Plus, I tend to like my women exactly the way the goddess made them. *g*)
@Alyx LOL!! Well if it ever happens that Mackenzie and I end up being publically spanked, I'd sneak you in for free, because I don't generally make my friends pay for tickets to performances I'm in. *grin*
ReplyDeleteThough I'm not fond of the two tops/two spankings at once idea because tops are evil and could feed off of each other's energy and encourage each other to continue spanking. :o The poor little brats could have much redder tushes than they deserve. Awww poor little bottoms.
@Mackenzie and LS I think we'd better collaborate on this bottom armor idea, stat.
Celine - I was worried it was going to bruise and I need to be able to sit down at work...
ReplyDeleteand if we ever meet up in RL you are going to sorely need that butt armor you helpful little brat >:)
Alyx - I'm not naughty. I really don't know where you get this idea from :)
Waxing is a requirement for bikini wearers!
I was severely traumatized by a non waxing hippie as a child. I was at the beach and this chick in a thread-bear bathing suit was there. I was cool with the hairy legs and armpits but when she turned around...OMFG she had this huge bush desperately trying to escape her suit. It must have traveled at least three inches down her legs! I was terrified! I didn't have any hair yet but I knew I would one day and was horrified that it was going to look like that!
*trembling lip* I am? You would HURT me, Mackenzie?
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to catch me first, girlie. *grin*
No Celine, I would never hurt you.
ReplyDeleteYou may however successfully bring out my toppy side, in which case it may be necessary for me to haul you over my lap and practice my bottom reddening skills. It would be good practice to learn how long and how hard one has to spank in order to achieve all those lovely shades of red :)
You know..I don't think I would object to that, Mackenzie. Certainly I could volunteer my bottom to help you practice your topping..it's the least I could do to thank you for your yummy blog posts. *wiggles bum at you* Especially if it would mean MORE yummy blog posts. After all, it wouldn't be the first time I'd had to read my favorite blogs on a very warm bottom.
ReplyDeleteCeline
LOL, Celine "*wiggles bum at you*" you're funny.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I hear it takes awhile to build up the strength and resilience that one needs in ones palm in order to really deliver a sound spanking. So, I think I'll have to test out a number of implements as well. Wouldn't want to hurt my poor hand :(
Perhaps I'll bring along my bamboo spatula. We can test out both sides >:) Ooh, and that implement that Alyx was talking about too!
Of course, I would have to blog about it in detail. So, really, you'd be sacrificing your ability to sit comfortably for the greater good :D
I'm so happy you volunteered :) Thank you Celine!
wait, what implement was Alyx talking about? When? I'm so confused. Hahaha guess what, Mackenzie? I can totally call you using Google Voice now. For FREE. I know, I'm unreasonably excited about having the ability to call people. I probably won't call anyone I don't normally call, lol, but I'm still all excited about it. Wait, I get to wear bottom armor when you spank me, right? Celine
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I can say. It's something that Alyx may be suggesting for use on Pippin's bottom. I'm sure her gf will find it's very effective at curbing naughty behaviour :)
ReplyDeleteGoogle voice? Never heard of it. I will google it.
Bottom armor? What good would that do me? I need observe the colour change of your bottom from pale through pink, to red then crimson. How else will I learn?
alyx, for such a tiny piece of wood, is it truly fearsome? hmm, i think we have three or four of those. eek! *running off to throw them away*
ReplyDeletePippin, that's what I've been trying to emphasize to those people who are (legitimately) afraid of wood -- this is so light it won't bruise. It's allll sting. *eg* So it will build a nice fire, but won't do damage, you know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteI'll bet Mackenzie's wooden spatula is the same way. Must find one of those.....
@Alyx Now, maybe this is all wrong..but at least in my little brain, Mackenzie is not nearly as fearsome as the omnipotent Alyx. ;) I believe Macks could spank me hard...I believe Alyx could blister my buns and have me squealing and wriggling like crazy. Just saying that is going to get me in trouble, isn't it? I'm having mental images of being passed back and forth between Mackenzie and Alyx with my ass ablaze while both of you say "Who spanks harder NOW?!"
ReplyDeleteDon't kid yourself...if I had a chance to be spanked by either of you, I'd fling myself over your laps in a heartbeat, true story.
I'm not certain I believe that wood can't be ouchie and thuddy..other than maybe balsa wood. You say this bamboo paddle can light a nice fire, eh? Hmmm...I like fire and sting a LOT. Perhaps you'll have to demonstrate for me, Alyx..*grin*
As a side note..it kinda cracks me up that the description of bamboo in the link you posted says that bamboo has mysterious powers. ;) I'm sure that's equally true when it's being applied to someone's naughty derriere. Celine
ROTFLMAO! Celine, I do love how your imagination works. I could totally get into a scene comparing spanking technique with the Big Mac as we measure effectiveness on your bottom. *vbg*
ReplyDeleteBamboo DOES have mysterious powers. *nodding* And I would be happy to demonstrate anytime, young lady. ;)
I like this idea. Who's up for a road trip?
ReplyDelete:)