Story Time

     *Sigh* Okay. Here's another story. I'm still not happy with it but I refuse to work on it anymore! *Throws story on the ground and kicks it* :p~~~
     I'm not sure what bothers me about it so I don't know how to fix. I think I just have a difficult time writing in this ...tense? ...voice? It's hard to convey what I'm seeing in my head onto the page.
     I'm not fishing for compliments here. Just wanted to warn people that it's not like the other 2 I wrote and doesn't quite flow as well.

     I also want to thank Loki and Alyx for helping with the editing; especially Alyx for her endless patience as I repeatedly sent it back to her whining and sniveling that I still wasn't happy with it *sheepish grin*

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     Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, Kensie sighed as she glared at the dim red numbers: 5:37am. ‘Why did the sun have to come up so damn early in the summer?’ she thought. Kensie felt a pang of guilt as she looked over at her bedmate, Tara, and slowly extricated herself from the tangled sheets. She crept into the kitchen and started searching through cupboards looking for a tea cup. She flinched and paused, holding her breath when the hinges of the cupboard creaked loudly. Then, satisfied that she was still the only one awake at this ridiculous hour, she set about making her tea.

     When it was done, Kensie wandered out into the backyard and plopped herself down in one of the lawn chairs. If she was going to be up with the sun, she might as well enjoy its company.

     Tara’s brain stirred slightly when Kensie got out of the bed and her eyes fluttered open momentarily when she heard the cupboard creak. She noted the now empty spot in their bed and closed her eyes again, waiting for Kensie to return.

     Twenty minutes later, Tara jerked back awake and frowned when she realized that Kensie still hadn’t returned. She decided to investigate, and after a quick stop in the washroom to brush her teeth, went looking for her missing partner.

     She spotted Kensie sitting in the backyard, and she stood at the kitchen window, smiling to herself at the sight of her beautiful lover. After nearly a year of chatting and flirting online, they had finally met and had the opportunity to play out a few of their many shared fantasies. Tara had taken her time exploring Kensie’s long, lean body. Her soft pale skin lightly dusted with a freckle here and a freckle there. Her long legs and curvy hips, her small waist and perfect little breasts – just the right size to fit into Tara’s hands.

     Tara loved that when she dragged her short nails across Kensie’s sensitive skin, faint red lines would follow in their wake. And when Kensie grew impatient with what she considered to be Tara’s teasing, and had tried to take control, Tara loved putting her back in her place with sharp stinging slaps which reddened her pert round bottom. Tara found the little yelps and whimpers that escaped Kensie's lips, and the way she wriggled her hips from side to side, extremely arousing.

     Tara’s smile quickly faded and was replaced with a look of concern as she watched Kensie swipe at what looked like a tear running down her cheek. She opened the door and padded over, crouching down at Kensie’s side. “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked quietly.

     Kensie shook her head. “Nothing,” she said.

     Tara gently but firmly gripped Kensie’s chin between her thumb and forefinger and turned her face towards her. “If nothing was wrong, you wouldn’t be crying...” she began softly. “Don’t lie to me,” she finished more firmly.

     Kensie tried to look away as her lower lip started to quiver and more tears leaked from her eyes without permission.

     Tara held her chin firmly for a few moments longer before releasing it to wipe the tears from Kensie’s face. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. Her concern was growing quickly. She had very much fallen in love with the woman sitting before her and was terrified that Kensie was going to tell her this had all been a big mistake. “Honey, please. Tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me.”

     Kensie looked up into Tara’s eyes, the concern she saw breaking her heart. “I lied,” Kensie choked out, her shoulders shaking as she finally lost control and started to sob.

     “What?” Tara responded, completely confused. “Lied about what? You’re not really single? Are you with someone?” Tara pulled back, watching, waiting, hoping for an answer that wouldn’t break her heart and breathed a huge sigh of relief when Kensie shook her head.

     “I, I ...” Kensie ran the back of her hand across her eyes and sniffled hard as she tried to take a deep, shaky, calming breath. Tara knew she was in trouble when she realised that she even found Kensie’s sniffles endearing. Big trouble.

     “I’ve never been in a relationship before,” she sniffled. “At least ... not with a woman,” she whispered.

     Tara opened her mouth to respond but no words came out as her brain scrambled to process all they had done the night before. The way Kensie’s hands and lips and tongue hand explored her body ... she certainly seemed to know what she was doing.

     “I had a couple, I don’t know ... flings, I guess, in college. Just some experimenting, exploring. Nothing serious. Nothing really ... emotional.” Kensie’s lower lip started to quiver as she tried to hold back a fresh wave of tears. Relationships should be built on trust, that much she knew and she had just completely blown this one. She hadn’t actually been ‘out of the closet’ long when she started chatting with Tara online, nor was she particularly experienced with women, but she pretended to be. She really liked Tara and was afraid that she wouldn’t be interested if she knew how inexperienced she really was. So she lied. 

     All the months of guilt over hiding the truth were finally too much for her, and Kensie decided to just lay it all on the line. She told Tara everything, all her fears and insecurities. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. She even told her about the Grey’s Anatomy episode where Arizona turned Callie down for being a ‘newborn,’ which had only served to increase her insecurity.

     Tara frowned as she listened to Kensie, confused at first, not understanding why she was so overwhelmingly upset over this. Yes, it was news to her and she wasn’t particularly impressed with Kensie for lying, but it certainly wasn’t the end of the world. But she listened intently, chuckling at the Grey’s Anatomy reference and pointing out that Callie and Arizona actually ended up getting together. And had a fabulously hot and sexy relationship!

     “Yeah, but that’s just a TV show!” Kensie whined. Tara laughed out loud at the irony of that statement.

     “At first I thought you wouldn’t like me if you knew and then you were always talking about trust and how important it is and stuff, and ... and then the longer I waited .. it, it just, I...” Kensie paused to take a deep breath, tears threatening to spill over again. “I just wanted you to like me,” she finished. Saying it all out loud, Kensie just felt so utterly pathetic. Weak, whiney and pathetic. Then, as if to confirm her self-deprecating thoughts, she burst into tears yet again.

     Tara quickly jumped up to sit beside Kensie and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into an embrace so tight she could feel the muscles in her arms protest. She hadn’t known about Kensie’s limited experience with women but she was aware that Kensie hadn’t been ‘out of the closet’ very long. She knew from what Kensie had told her that the experience had been painful, coming from a religious background. Most of her family and friends had been disgusted or insisted she was just confused, that she just needed to find the ‘right man.’ Tara understood her fears and the desire to just be accepted for who she was. To not be judged. But she was also upset at being lied to for so long and hurt that Kensie hadn't trusted her with the truth.

     “I’m s-s-so sorry,” Kensie cried into Tara’s shoulder.

     “It’s okay,” Tara replied automatically as she rocked slightly side to side, trying to comfort her. Then, after a beat, “Actually, it’s not okay,” she said sternly, squeezing a bit tighter when Kensie tried to pull away. “It’s not okay that you lied to me, it’s not okay that you kept this from me, and it’s not okay that you thought I would judge you.” She pulled back so she could look into Kensie’s eyes but still held her upper arms tightly. “Why would you think I would judge you?” she asked, the hurt evident in the way she choked up on the last word. “I know what it feels like to be judged. My parents disowned me when I came out, you know that. Why on earth would you think I would hurt you like that?”

     Kensie shook her head, watching the tears that had begun to well up in her lover’s eyes. Her lover. She really did love Tara and it terrified her. So much pain could result from that. “I don’t know,” she replied, staring down at Tara’s shirt.

     Kensie gasped at the slap to her cheek that followed. She stared, wide-eyed at Tara as she brought a hand up to cup her cheek.

Tara was shocked herself and was about to apologize but paused when Kensie didn’t react. She hadn’t slapped her back, yelled at her or stormed off. She just seemed to be waiting for Tara to make the next move. She would definitely apologize later, but for now ... “What did I tell you about lying to me?” She said sternly.

     Kensie swallowed and tried to look down at her lap but Tara quickly grabbed her chin and forced her to look up. She moved Kensie’s hand and turned her face slightly to assess the damage done by the slap. Tara felt a pang of guilt at how red Kensie's cheek was, but knowing how sensitive her skin was, decided to address it later. She turned Kensie's face back to her. “Why?” she asked firmly, holding her gaze.

     “I was scared,” Kensie whispered. “I wanted to tell you so many times, I was going to tell you when we finally met but I ... I was scared, I love you, I didn’t mean to, it just happened and I was scared."

     Tara let out a small laugh. “You love me but you didn’t mean to?” Even under the circumstances she found Kensie's comment cute, but the scowl on her love’s face indicated she definitely didn’t see anything humorous about it. Tara immediately stopped laughing. “I’m sorry, it was just, it ... I’m sorry, Honey.”

     There it was again, -- ‘Honey.’ Kensie didn’t usually like pet names, she thought they were corny. But coming from Tara it just seemed so sweet, so right.

     Tara cupped Kensie’s face in her hands, “I care if you lie to me, I care if you don’t feel you can trust me and confide in me. I don’t care that you’re inexperienced. I don’t care that you’re new to this. I care about you. I care about how you feel, what you need, what you like, what you don’t like.” Tara smiled and pulled Kensie forward to kiss her forehead again. “Your inexperience just means I have more to teach you,” Tara began, lifting Kensie’s chin to ensure eye contact, continuing firmly, “and the first lesson you’re going to learn is about the consequences of lying.”

     “Huh?” Kensie responded eloquently.

      Tara raised an eyebrow. “You lied to me, Kensie. That’s not acceptable and it certainly isn’t going to go unpunished.”

     “Oh,” Kensie squeaked, realizing immediately what she meant.

     “Come on.” Tara held out her hand and Kensie nervously took it as she stood. Even though Kensie’s relatives were very religious, they had been quite forward thinking when it came to discipline; utilizing time-outs, writing lines, and loss of privileges as consequences for naughty behaviour. So Kensie had never really been spanked as a punishment before and she was more than a little nervous.

     Even though Tara was a couple inches shorter, she was the stronger of the two. Kensie kept herself in decent shape and she ate quite healthy, save for her sugar addiction. She went to yoga three days a week and loved to hike and surf but she didn’t really work out. Tara on the other hand went running every other day and spent at least 4 hours a week in the gym. She could drop and give you twenty pushups without even breaking a sweat, real pushups. She could do chin ups too, which Kensie found fascinating. Maybe Tara would just make her stand in the corner or something ... and maybe, just maybe, pigs really could fly!

     “Oh,” Kensie swooned slightly as she got up and pressed her hand to her head.

     Tara grabbed her arm, concerned. “Are you okay?”

     “Yeah ... my head just hurts a little.”

     Tara brushed her fingers through Kensie’s hair. “Yeah, a good cry’ll do that to you. Come on, I’ll get you some pain killers and we can have a little chat while it kicks in.”

     Kensie whimpered and pouted. Tara smiled. “The kind of chat that actually involves talking.”

     “Oh.” Kensie replied sheepishly as Tara directed her into the house with a pat to her bottom.

     “Then we’ll have a talk,” Tara promised.

     Kensie groaned as she walked into the house. She had a feeling their ‘talk’ wouldn’t involve a whole lot of talking.



To be continued... maybe.