Experiment gone wrong

Warning: This blog post contains the use of profanity. If this offends you, I suggest you take your little bottom elsewhere.

     How many of you have been spanked with a wooden hairbrush? And I mean really spanked, not just for fun. Well I never had (wood is kind of scary). And I was curious, really curious. So what did I do? Well I went out and bought myself a nice wooden hairbrush and decided to give it a whirl.
     As I live in an apartment and can hear my neighbor sneeze I couldn't exactly go about walloping myself with this damn thing (yes I did it myself, sad but true) but I really wanted to know how it would feel as a punishment. So I decided to just give myself one good hard whack before I hopped in the shower this morning.
     I got all naked, as I usually do before getting in the shower, took aim, took a deep breathe, and ... nothing. I couldn't do it. My brain said "What the fuck do you think you're doing, dumbass?!" and refused to move my arm. Kinda like when you're waxing your bikini line and you have to count to three, four or five times before you actually manage to pull the damn strip off.
     Anyway, my brain and I argued for a bit and eventually agreed that I truly was the one in charge here! So I took aim again, brought my arm up nice and high, brought the brush down hard and Jesus fucking Murphy that thing hurts. I mean really hurts. I jumped away from the brush, and my own arm which was really awkward and none to graceful, and held my breath for a few seconds as the pain actually increased as the seconds passed. Bloody Hell!
     I looked in the mirror and there was a very angry red mark on my ass in the shape of a hairbrush, go figure. It was mostly red with a white splotch in the centre (the damn brush isn't completely flat).
     After my shower the mark was still there and I could still feel the exact spot where the brush had landed. I wandered about getting ready and doing chores for a couple hours then flopped down on the couch and immediately jumped up! It still bloody hurt! I went back to look in the mirror and the mark was still there, just as dark as ever and I had dinner and a show to go to. Both of these activities require sitting by the way.
Thankfully the sore spot calmed down a bit and the seats at the show weren't to hard but I still spent most of my time sitting on one cheek >:(
     It's now late at night, the mark is finally fading, and although I can still feel the spot that was attacked by the evil hairbrush, I can sit in reasonable comfort again, finally.

What's the moral of this story? Curiosity gets your ass burned comes to mind.

Mackenzie